Hi hopeful55

fantastic post which probably sums up a lot of peoples anxiety.

Doing some research, making contact and asking a helluva lot of questions should lead you onto the correct path and once all the unknowns are taken care of, life is honestly a lot easier and less scary.

Im sure it will work out fine.

Mark

Even talking to a complete stranger made me feel better about our debts!!

Paul

Hello Hopefull55 and welcome.

It sounds as you you have already taken two of the very biggest steps by reaching out for advice and confiding in someone that is close to you.

I hope the forum can help in some small way as you work to bring everything under control.

Hello Hopefull55

It is good that you have managed to speak to someone close and an advisor about you situation and hopefully within the near future you will have the situation firmly under control.

Chris

Hopeful55 you speak for many!!!
If we're lucky we get to the stage of deciding the rot has to stop? When plasticdaft says 'even' speaking to a complete stranger, I would say 'especially' speaking to a complete stranger helped. You don't have to feel afraid of a stranger being disappointed, worried for you, angry at you or worried about the impact on themselves.

Thank you to everyone who has commented. It's like one step at at time at the moment. Because of my circumstances, I have to tell my Boss which is probably my next step......can't say I'm looking forward to that bit, more because I know it's only a matter of time before "it" leaks out. This is probably the only thing that will stop me from doing this, and continuing to struggle on. Anyone else had this problem?

Hi Hopeful55

I can think of a huge amount of people in a similar position when I have taken meetings and can easily say that there has never been one occasion where it was anything like as bad as they thought.

People under pressure tend to think that it is only them and it very rarely is. I'm sure you could look at every person you work with and they will all have the same hopes and fears, some worse, some not.

It was interesting the posts from Chris and TDA earlier that they both mention control and I think that is a key point where you take the reins and regain control of the situation.

Mark

Oops! spelt reins wrong! Must be this jubilee thing

The worst is what we do ourselves-mentally!

It's probably true to say you've been through a lot...and, SOME of it happened!

This is a often overlooked subject , and needs to be out in the open , only posts by persons going through the same things , and then looking at the POSITIVE outcome of being in control again can assure you that you have done the right thing .
Wish I had swallowed my pride sooner , I understand the stress and strain , now that I opened up , I now talk to my wife instead of shouting at her .

You are all correct. Thank you. I am due to speak to my Trust Deed Expert later today and get an update - and hopefully in the next few weeks I'll be over another few hurdles and on my way to a more manageable life

hi I was in the same situation, once I had decided I had to seek help and that a trust deed or even bankruptcy was the only options for me I had to speak to my boss. I worried all weekend about it but first thing on the Monday I went and asked to speak to him in private and explained my situation. He was very helpful and supportive and thanked me for letting him know and said his door was always open if I needed to speak to him again re this. The actual time thinking about what I would say or what would he say or think about me after I told him was a hundred times worse than it turned out to be. I do hope that your boss is as good and wish you well

Hi "worried mary". Thanks for your support here. I get on really well with my Boss, but I guess its the whole "embarrassed/ashamed/proud/guilty" thing. I keep telling myself that I haven't murdered anyone, I haven't cheated anyone (except myself, so I need to drag myself out of this self pitying hole, and get my life back on track. If I lose friends/colleagues along the way - then, so be it - I suppose it's no loss in the long run really.

Hi Hopeful55

I was in a similar situation but mine was a new job and I had to tell them as they wanted to do a credit check (EEEK). I feel the same as you - embarassment probably is the highest for me. But as it has been pointed out by many lovely people on this forum, you are taking control, admitting that there is a problem and ultimately resolving that problem!

Being in debt/seeking help for your debt hasn't affected the way you carry out your role and nor will it in the future!

Good luck and I'm sure everything will be ok!

Congratulations on this post, do not think for one minute others didn't feel the same, I know I did. Here's to tomorrow pal, don't look back.