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Topic starter
04/08/2014 11:30 pm
Rock Bottom:Solid Base -
My user name was a result of being determined not to be defined by or worn down by having to choose bankruptcy. positive mental attitude etc.
It's all in the mind.
I knew it was best to limit the impact and that seemed like it would be easy as the emotional rollercoaster of trying to stop the rot on our own was ending.Maintain the resolve, It's all in the mind
It worked for a while and the belief that I had no more creditor and 3rd party chasers to contend with helped.
It should have been cause for celebration when the 12 months passed and we were discharged.
In reality, it took 3 years to get to the stage of seeking bankruptcy, half way through the 3 year bankruptcy period now feels as bad as ever.
Still I know it's all in the mind. its both possible and worthwhile to keep a lid on it.
Most days I'm exhausted before I even think of dealing with any phone calls or correspondence. I'm doing the minimums and procrastination is a constant menace. When a letter arrives from a creditor or 3rd party, it can take me days to copy/scan and email it, I steel myself to lift the phone to ask for direction or even help to understand processes.
Sheriff officers arrive barely able to hide their glee in handing over documents with comments such as 'you'll know all about it, you've seen it before'.
Creditor's employees declare that it's their opinion (even though they weren't asked for it) that it's not right that you have debt.
bankruptcy itself IS painless but not so much living with a dirty secret around others who expect to see some outward sign of collapse.
It would definitely help to be kept informed as to what instruction/information has been processed and sent to creditors.
its easy to suffer a collapse in self-esteem and that's worsened when it's clear that there's no understanding of the level of anxiety or distress behind phone calls or emails asking for help or info.
To get no reply to calls or emails just underlines that you are at rock bottom and certainly not a valued customer.
18 months to go but it feels like walking through treacle with a monkey which will stay on my back:-(
I know it is all in the mind and that's the conversation I have daily, I haven't lost it yet but I am talking to myself (not yet answering)
[B)]
05/08/2014 10:17 am
Hi RBSB. Thanks for opening up with such a heartfelt post.
I can certainly understand that it must be painful if your creditors are still chasing despite the bankruptcy. That isn't how it should be. Whilst your Trustee can write/fax/call them, there is only so much they can do if the creditor is ignoring them.
I'm glad you are trying to stay positive though. Maybe you could steel yourself and go on the offensive and make some complaints to these creditors or to their regulators?
Scottish Debt Solutions Expert - Ask me for help setting up a Scottish Trust Deed or Debt Arrangement Scheme plan.
05/08/2014 10:24 am
I do hope that you can stay strong RBSB.
You've already made it a long way from struggling with the debts, deciding to take action and then taking that action.
Hopefully the final stretch will pass much more quickly and painlessly than what has gone before.
Qualified Debt Adviser & Forum Administrator - Ask me anything about Trust Deeds 
Topic starter
05/08/2014 3:55 pm
thanks guys!!
Seems a really moany post when I read it today:-)
Mostly I'm fine and I do know it's temporary!!
Kevin, you're comments spot on. I know I need to do that, seems a massive task but I will tackle it, one by one.
05/08/2014 5:59 pm
Hi RBSB, as someone who has just recently came out the other end of sequestration I know exactly how you feel, I once had a career in law and had to give it up due to my own stupidity and an ex husband.
It has been a closely guarded secret and only my husband knows, I felt so much shame at having to admit defeat and take the easy option, only it wasn't an easy decision to make.
Saying that, I am so relieved it is all over, I have 3 years left before it will fall from my credit file and I can look to the future and buying a property with my husband, what will be our first home purchased together.
I was quite lucky I suppose as the creditors soon gave up, I never replied to any of their correspondence and didn't have a landline at the time so they couldn't ring me, all I did was forward their letters to my trustee and I never heard another thing.
Keep strong, the time will pass quickly and you will soon feel the huge sigh of relief I felt when I made the 36th payment 🙂
j smith
07/08/2014 9:00 am
Hi RockBottomSolidBase,
The creditor calls and correspondence can be a real nuisance to try and deal with and after entering bankruptcy and trying to move forward this can sometimes make it feel like you are not getting any further forward.
Try to speak with your relationship manager to make them aware of the problems you are continuing to have with your creditors. It's their job to deal with this for you.
Sometimes people need to vent a little frustration and get things off their chest. If they aren't able to speak with any friends of family about their situation then the forum is a good way to do this.
Stay positive. Smile when you receive a creditor letter or phone call or the sheriff officers attend to deliver paperwork as there is nothing they can do and are only wasting their time.
David is not currently posting in the Trust-Deed.co.uk forum
