Welcome to the trust deed forum Im on my way. It's always nice when a "lurker" decides to join the conversation!! Congratulations also on having taken these initial steps to deal with your debts.

From the perspective of a debt adviser, we're often told by clients that partners/spouses have been very supportive, even if there can be a little shock when the information is first shared.

With that I'll back away from this thread though. I'd imagine that many of our members will have personal experience of having had the same or similar conversation to the one you're facing up to and I hope that some will choose to share that experience with you...

I had a similar dilemma at the outset of my Trust Deed - my fiancee knew I was in debt but she didn't know the full extent of it, or that it had gone so far that my only option was to enter into a form of bankruptcy.

I ultimately concluded that it was better to "lay it bare" as it were, and just tell her everything. Keeping it from her wouldn't have been fair, and it would only have led to bigger problems down the line if she then found out about it on her own.

I'm pleased to say that when I broke the news, she appreciated my honesty and although she was shocked at how bad things had got, she was very understanding. My fiancee has been(and continues to be) extremely supportive throughout the entire process.

I do feel that honesty is the best policy in these situations but obviously only you can ultimately decide how to handle this. Best of luck, and I hope it all works out for you.

I'd say honesty is the best policy - and that sometime down the line he will find out anyway (a letter left lying around for instance).

I'm surprised after 2 years he doesn't know anyway - i take it you don;t live together or anything like that?

Anyway i'm sure he would be fine and totally supportive!

Thanks for your comments and support guys. No,we dont live together. I spend a lot of the time at his place.He definately knows that I have no spare cash and that I had at least one maxed out credit card.He has been supportive financially by doing things like footing my car repair bill and always asking if I am okay for cash. I think that my biggest problem is my own stupid pride. But I know that it is something that I will have to deal with in my own time.

C xx

I managed to keep my trust deed from my husband for just over 2 years. I'd buggered things up before and had had the 'you do this once more and it's divorce for you' lecture. My trustee sent letters without their logo and as I work shifts, I get most of the mail. However, over the course of things, I began noticing he was displaying all the same behaviour that I'd done. Things like not opening statements, ignoring phone calls. Anyhoo, we had an almighty, blazing row and I told him. I thought, in for a penny, in for a pound. He tried to give me another lecture at which point I told him I wasn't stupid and I knew he'd buggered up financially. So he asked me what the process was like and what happens when it finishes. He now accepts he's in a crappy position and that once my deed has finished, he needs to look at a debt management plan. I'll be paying his debts now which I could look at as Karma for me not being able to pay mine. He can't do a trust deed cause we'd never be able to get the equity together. Also he hasn't got debts anywhere near what I had.

No-one else needs to know you're in a trust deed but be prepared for the fall out if after a while he finds out.