Hi Desperatetimes.

Your thread raises a very important subject. The practical side of trust deeds is just one part of the subject.

I do hope that other site members and visitors will be able to share their experiences and some support with you.

Having a trust deed is not something I have wanted to shout from the roof tops, my husband and I have not told any family members and limited it to close friend, those who wouldn't judge us. Although it's been difficult at times making excuses as to why we could go out or attend certain events but once you say something like I'm not wanting to use the credit card this month, trying to pay it off, you suddenly realise how many people actually use credit to get through each month. Most people never talk about money or fianc?®e so why start when you have a trust deed. My kids will learn the value of money as at times you just have to say no. Keep in regular contact with your trustee and allowances can be made for changes in circumstances, don't give up the thought of having a family, you have already started the ball rolling by signing a trust deed and if a baby arrives before your finished I'm sure you could take a few months leave from the trust deed and friends and relatives always seem happy to help and you trust deed allowances should change with an added member to the family.

To be honest the only person who knows am in a Trust Deed apart from me is my Trustee and the folks on here (but let's be honest you don't know who I am..)

I live by myself so there was no need to tell anyone.........

I managed to keep it from everyone I knew but then, in the middle of a blazing row, it came out. My thinking was I had got myself into this mess and it was my business. I was also hugely embarressed by being in this position until it finally dawned on me that this was nothing to be embarressed about. If only the stigma of financial difficulty would go away. I ended up speaking to people at work about it and they couldn't believe how I'd got into such a mess and hopefully, it makes them think about it. There shouldn't be any shame in debt. That's how it gets unmanageable.

I told my parents but no-one else.

I sometimes find myself involved in conversations about silly people who get themselves into too much debt and criticising them too! When I'm out of my TD I'll tell those people about it. But right now I don't want to rock the boat in any way.

I think the stigma comes from debt being self-inflicted.

To be honest though, I'm happy with the course of action I have taken and knowing the end is coming closer mitigates all the negatives.

Thanks for the replies! I'm the same, I haven't told anyone - my husband obviously knows. I wouldn't be surprised though if there is some poor soul on here who hasn't even told their partner about it. Debt is hard enough without having the added burden of having to keep secret about it. My debt has come about because I foolishly moved house without thinking enough about the added household expenses but my debt was slowly growing over a couple of years and my head in the sand approach meant catastrophe was inevitable.

Didn't tell my parents because it was too embarrassing and it was my mess to deal with, not theirs, told just a few close pals, and my sister found out eventually. No-one in work at the time knew (bank call centre - although I did mention it to some struggling customers who couldn't get a loan to consolidate, my Trustee must have got some business off me), no-one in my new job knows.

Had to ask my dad to borrow a grand at the start of the year to buy a new car, and had to let him know some of the details then, but didn't go into specifics. If he knew exactly how much I had gotten myself into, he'd kill me!

My husband knows and thats as far as i'm going to tell anyone, as in my view if I don't tell people what i get paid why should I tell them my debt status, and it would kill my parents

My fiancee and a very close friend (who has been through a Trust Deed himself) are the only people I've told.

It would break my parents' heart if I told them.

I kept my debt problems to myself until I needed to look at debt solutions.

I was planning on keeping it quiet from everyone but on the night after my consultation I got really emotional and had to tell my GF.

She is the only person I have told and I will never tell my mum or dad - it would really get to them I think.

I find myself in conversations where people ask why I am not buying a house - or buying things on finance and I have to make up little fibs here and there.

The worst is when you find yourself in a conversation where people are criticising people in debt and you try to defend it as best you can without making it obvious!

<<<I find myself in conversations where people ask why I am not buying a house>>>

That happens to me a lot - and it's difficult to deal with. Friends, family and even colleagues frequently ask why I'm still renting, and I don't really have an answer for them - certainly not one that they're happy to accept.

The thing that really annoys me though, is when someone says "oh but you would get a mortgage no problem" - like they have the first clue about my personal circumstances. Having spoken with a mortgage adviser recently, I know for a fact that getting a mortgage is currently out of the question.

Usually, when the subject comes up I just try and move the conversation onto something else, but some people can be very persistent. A couple of times, I've been tempted to point out that it's really none of their business. Fortunately I've always managed to hold my tongue!

It's interesting that there have recently been countless articles in the press recently about people in the UK becoming much more open about debt - I get the why no mortgage question too, I never know what to say!

If I tell anyone about it, they look really uncomfortable. It's almost like I've told them something that people would normally reply 'but you're alright now, aren't you?' I never knew trust-deeds existed. I've seen loads of ads for IVA's but there should maybe be more publicity about trust-deeds. It might get people debt help before it gets to the state that we've all got to.

At first no one knew. It was me who got in to the mess and I would sort it out. Unfortunately RBOS sent a letter via the Sheriff Officer to my home but just to the house so my Mum opened it and was very angry - £16k was only the bank, another £12k in credit cards and catalogues too. She didn't know the half of it.

Started my Trust Deed and although Mum knew I was paying debts back she still didn't know how skint I was doing it. Then, I needed a new car when my old faithful was going to cost me £800 to get through it's MOT. Mum got the credit and I pay her back.

So now Trust Deed has just finished and still only one person knows. No friends, family, work colleagues or anyone else knows. It will come out in the future I am sure but it's been a hard lesson learned. I was fortunate I still lived at home but, the way things are the now, I will still be here until I can find somewhere to rent. Not even interested in getting a mortgage when I can rent and have a landlord to take care of all maintenance. Then I can learn to budget and save for nice things for my new flat - after a well deserved holiday in the sun ofcourse.

Neelia