Without sounding blunt it's that sort of attitude that got you in the mess in the first place. We do feel the same sometimes but just think how you got where you are and try and change or you will just do it again.

Without sounding blunt you have no idea why I'm in this mess.. I can assure you it hasn't been through thoughtless frivolous spending.

Hi Nemo1.

How lovely your folks have offered to take you on holiday. With family like that maybe you do have a lot of things to look forward to irrespective of the financial problems that led to the trust deed.

One of the difficulties with forums is that the written word is so wide-open to interpretation when you don't have tone or body language to judge words by. I've fallen foul of that here before.

I think NewStart has trying to help based upon his/her own experience of getting to a point at which debt became a worry. Of course, NewStart can speak for him or herself on that.

My first reaction was the same... I thought I hope you don't open yourself up to future financial pressure by making a short-term decision.

Having said that, once you've weighed it up and thought about it, maybe it will or maybe it will not. You'll make the right decision about that.

It's irrelevant how we got here, I want my old Porsche back I want my old holidays but it ain't going to happen. Regardless of circumstances the formula is simple we never had enough put aside to deal with the circumstances that got us in this mess.

What happens if your central heating breaks or car breaks down sure your reserve money would come in more handy than a jolly away. Regardless how you got there you there and you now need to live as fragile as possible it's not nice but it's reality.

Sorry I didn't mean to sound like an ass. Just not having the best of times but no need to bring it onto here. I sound like a complete idiot!! I won't b dipping into the money, that'd be silly.
Sorry folks

It's ok I'm not the best with words either, sorry if I sound blunt. But I too am finding this hard, in fact it's misery but what else can I do. I can appreciate 5 years is a long time get less for murder but just be sensible, good luck.

Hi Nemo1.

Obviously I have no idea about your circumstances or personal relationships, but from a speculative point of view, would life be easier if your folks knew of your current circumstances? They sound like generous people.

You didnt sound like an ass, you just sounded like you could use a nice break.

We make financial decisions for emotional and practical reasons. Both are very important, and only by stepping back and thinking can we make sensible decisions.

NewStart is being really practical, and that's really important. But life doesn't stop just because you've signed a trust deed.

By the way, lots of people over the years have used the forum to sound off when things are bothering them. Sometimes a problem shared...

TDA you ever considered a career in counselling??! Love all your advice on here.
I think I'm feeling pretty guilty that I can't take the kids away on a nice holiday. But at the end of the day what is important is that they having a loving family with food on the table.. Might be able to put some money away to get away for a few days next summer. Although you're prob not allowed while ur in a TD! I'm feeling less sorry for myself thanks to you two.
Thank you 😀

Nothing about a trust deed stops you and your children having a nice break.

Maybe some other members could share some ideas of how they made that happen?

I'm glad NewStart and I could make you feel a little bit better. You and your kids have obviously got a really strong loving family unit around you. That's a great starting point.

Yeah that'd be good if other people shared how they managed to get a holiday. We could live on soup?!? Cheap AND healthy 😉 yes I'm very lucky to have a brilliant family. 🙂

Well, I guess the starting point always has to be "What kind of holiday can you afford?" Whether you're in a trust deed or not.

Then you start trying to find ways to maximise what you can afford.

We've had quite a few years when all we could afford were free days out, with a picnic.

Sometimes we couldn't even afford the petrol for the day out. So we had a picnic out the backdoor. Or in the living room.

TBH, the kids loved those picnics so much that we sometimes get asked for a living room picnic on rainy days even now!

I went on the 4 day Sun holidays. They came in handy. The holiday we did last year was a Travelodge for 5 nights. We got it for £19 per night. Granted it wasn't the best location (motorway at Stafford) but it was a short drive to loads of things to do. Food was sarnies, cereal and supermarket cafes for tea. We were lucky that the weather was good. We went on a big holiday this year seeing as the trust deed was finished but it was terrible. Youth Hostels can be good - quite often possible to get family rooms and you cook your own stuff.

What type of holiday are your parents suggesting. If we know that, we could maybe give advice on how to keep spending money to a minimum.

Totally agree with the indoor picnics, kids love them!! It's a holiday abroad but self catering... Next year. We do have a decent housekeeping/entertainment budget and I have became very good at keeping the food shop down to a reasonable price, and could afford to save some every month. But like NewStart said its make more sense to save this money for possible emergencies- car problems, new fridge etc..

Although they're paying for the holiday, how comfortable are you going to be telling them you'd rather not be included in the other holiday activities. Also, having to tell the kids that they can't go on expensive days out. It's great that they've offered to pay for the holiday. You just need to sit down and go through whatever residual expenses there may be. The other thing is, are you going to be alright having budget or no holidays to look forward to for every other year of your trust deed. I genuinely don't want to cast a cloud on things but it may give you more stress than you need trying to organise it so that your parents don't suspect anything is wrong.

By the way, I'd be jumping at it and worrying the month before how I would be able to go and join in. I'm rubbish at planning.