Hi lizs, thanks for posing such an interesting question.

One for our members who are some distance through their trust deeds I think...

Its a difficult one to deal with for sure.

I can't comment on the situation re: uniforms as I don't have any children but I can talk a little about Christmas and birthdays etc...

My Trustee told me that even though I should pay everything I can to my TD I should never leave myself short. When we did my income and expenditure he told me I should note a monthly amount to put towards gifts for these things. We agreed that £20 per month was acceptable and that seems to work out just about right. I give only close family £10 in their card and usually give them something from my gift box as an extra. I regularly will buy something - e.g. a DVD or CD when its really cheap in store or on-line and keep it till it is needed. I usually get some good films and CD's for about £3 each that go down well. I also keep any unwanted gifts from birthdays etc and put them in the gift box (just be sure to track who gave you what and not to give them it back).

Usually as I approach Christmas I have a little but left over to get everyone a decent gift. I used to get awkward worrying if it was enough but then I realised that if you give a gift that is of a lower value than they would buy you they soon level off the playing field. I have always been of the belief that its the thought that counts so I would be happy to get nothing back.

I am also lucky that my girlfriend knows about my TD so we have an arrangement that on special occasions we get a little gift of each other under £10 and that's it - which is great because it tends to be the other half you spend most on.

TOP TIP: If you decide to have a gift box - try to decide who the gift is for otherwise you may end up with lots of action films to give to young children - I once gave my little cousin, aged 9, the remake of King Kong then watched it myself recently and found it a bit violent. No wonder my Auntie was a little off at Boxing Day dinner!

Hi Lizs, I sure understand how difficult this is I can tell you that there are school clothing grants available from your local council but you have to be in receipt of certain benefits and income under a certain amount. Grants available to help in cost of buy uniform are £55 for primary school and £60 if at Academy. The threshold being if in receipt of income support and child tax credit and no working tax credits income must be below £15,860 and if working and in receipt of child and working tax credits income must be below £6,420. Not sure of your circumstances as there is you and your husband. Anyway have a few other suggestions too, I also try do as scotslad and put away £10 or £15 when income in and this does build up a bit over the year so I can treat my Son at Christmas. Also check out freecyle forum in your area as this is great you can pick up anything from a cup and plate to a trampoline! I have picked up lots through this. Also freebies on gumtree in your local are too worth keep check out And as for christmas gifts there are lots of things that can be made for girl friends and family members for just a few pounds. Flower or heart broches, bracelets or headbands can be made quite easily with a few bits of felt, material beads safety pins a needle and thread. Also little purses can be made.I did last year and all who received were delighted, people do understand anyway have a look on internet there is lots you can make and some have videos show exactly how do. And if you have the patience perhaps give crochet a try there are gorgeous things to be made from this. A crochet hook costing around £1.25 and few balls wool which also just be few pounds. Hope I have helped in some ideas. J

Thanks for the suggestions. Unfortunately wouldnt qualify for uniform grants due to mine and husbands salary. The added problem I have is that both my childrens birthdays are in January, therefore added hassles!!! Not sure but think small amount was included in my trust deed income and expenditure for things along this line, but in reality I cant afford to do it, struggling to pay our trust deeds as it is. Although my kids dont ask for a lot, even the smallest amounts of gifts for christmas and birthdays for 2 children still adds up.

Thanks again and would appreciate any further feedback from anyone in the forum.

I understand what your saying, i am at the end of 36 payments and it's not been easy, a few things that I have found is saving a pound here or there with tesco stamps and using my club card points when doubled or tripled to buy school clothing or bits for birthdays or Christmas, I also sell stuff on eBay that is no longer needed or grown out off which does add up. Another thing I have done is got a mobile contract with a free gift here and there, I was with the company prior to my trust deed so I've been lucky to stay with them but a friend or relative may get one for you but never get a contract you can't afford to pay. I've also used kids school photos and got cheap frames as a present or framed personal poems are a good idea. I make pacts with friends that mean we don't buy for each others kids and this year I did a movie night in a box for extended families kids with a DVD that was cheap and lots of sweets transferred into pretty bags and a sachat of hot chocolate, they loved it and it looked more expensive than it was. Try looking on eBay for new items of uniform or presents that are new but at cheaper prices. I also save my 2,5,10 and 20 pences and every now and then I get twenty pounds worth to buy bits and bobs as and when needed.

Not easy to get through at all ! I reduced what i would have perviously given and quite often decided that i didn't need to give. Social life has been crap , have avoided a lot of parties as would have needed outfit , gift and money to go with ! ( lots of reinds just turned 40 ! )Have lost contact with friends because often i often only had petrol to get to work ! Even friends who knew get a bit peeved when I can't go out with them , ususally manage once a month to do something .
Christmas is a nightmare , just buy basics for home , looks for offers in supermarkets and do the rounds .
When this is over I will certainly look after my money ands keep shopping around !

we have 3 children and it is very difficult. The only way we find the money for such things is to seriously reduce the amount of money we spend on food at the supermarket the month we have one of the kids birthdays. Christmas is a difficult one but seem to manage to get the kids something, most things are brought well before christmas when there on offer or in the sale. As for family presents we don't buy if we don't have the money or get kids to help make presents.

Most months its a challenge with our budget but that is how life will be for many many years. Living with credit/debt made things easy in the short term but is dangerous long term hence why we are learning to live with it out. I truly beleive children do not remember the things you brought them but the memories/things you did with them. The latest toy is soon forgotton but memories last a life time. Remember this process is to give you and your family a future x

That's true, I particularly remember a kite I got for christmas, not because it was a particularly big or expensive kite but because my dad dressed us up warm on Christmas morning and took us out to fly them.

Buy small gifts for your children and put the effort into devising a treasure hunt instead. Organise a gift amnesty NOW for friends - they'll appreciate it as much as you will. Or make it challenging and put a really strict limit on it, like £1 or £2.

Check Martyn Lewis's blog about christmas gift giving on his moneysaving expert website.